Train or spoil a child....

Proverbs 22 verse 6 says that:
“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”

We may all have different attitudes towards life but I believe that it is every parent’s desire to raise wonderful, polite, God fearing, respectful, joyful, loving, obedient and successful children. We come from different backgrounds. Some believe in smacking, some in grounding and some in reasoning together by discussing why the child has behaved a certain way and seeing if there is something that can be done to avoid such behaviour in future.

Most parents always want the best for their children but sometimes it is not always easy for children to obey their parents or be what their parents want them to be. The children are only human and they make mistakes so please do not expect miracles over night. A little bit of patience goes a very long way. Do not compare your children with other people’s children. Invest your time in your children and love them too.

Staying in Aberdeen has not been easy for me. The life has been so hectic and stressful. Getting a housekeeper is very expensive compared to where I am originally from. My attitude towards life has always been to find ways to make my life easier and smoother. I found out that having children can be a good way of reducing the house workload. I am not talking about abusing our children and using them as housekeepers but just teaching them to be responsible without them knowing that they are actually doing some housework.

From the age of two, children can learn to do some little chores, e.g. tidying up the toys. One can make up a song just for tidying up. It is up to you to decide how you want the chores to be done. As a child I was never a fan of doing house chores but I had to do my bit. Nothing has changed in that department but since I have a flare for nice and clean things I have no choice but to clean and tidy up. I just feel that it is dull and boring. It was because of this attitude that I decided to do something about it. I had to change my attitude towards tidying up because I was always angry and in a bad mood whenever I cleaned the house.

One day as I was tidying up, one of my favourite songs started playing on the radio and I started dancing and my mood was lifted. I continued singing the song “Jesus love has got under my skin” and my day went perfectly. I was surprised as to how I managed to finish the work just because of that song. It is amazing how God can use ordinary everyday things to arrest us. I am so grateful for that day. It took a song to turn my life around by changing my attitude towards house work.

Now, I do not need to play any music because the music is within me. It is a very special part of me which I can not afford to do without. Whenever I am tidying up I always burst into a song and before I know it, the job is done. I did not start singing because of tidying up. I was always into singing since I was a child but it was only limited to when I am happy, at church and because something is playing on the radio. This is how I got the revelation of teaching my children to learn through play.

Children love to learn through play and all sorts of challenges. Consider creating some exciting games to help them tidy up. Before implementing the plan one needs to be organised and make sure things are in order.

Start by arranging the children’s room or rooms in a very simple and exciting way. Make sure all their special toys are within their reach. Put in a laundry basket and encourage them to put in their dirty clothes. A bookshelf will be handy for all those bed time stories. It just makes them easily accessible whenever they need them and will encourage putting them back in place. Once the room layout is organised it will be easier to encourage them to maintain the room tidy all the time. Reward them for keeping their room tidy and being helpful around the house.

Children love to be given responsibilities and being in charge or control of something. Start with the easy things and as they grow you can increase the responsibilities. Do not be discouraged if the plates are left oily or are not properly clean. They will get better with time but the most important thing is that you would have taught them how to do the dishes and also the fact that dishes need to be cleaned after use.

There are a lot of things I ask my children to do for me. My 5-year-old boy enjoys switching on the computer for me. When I am baking he greases the baking tray, cracks the eggs and whisks them for me. When making biscuits he always creates the different shapes and helps to put them on the baking tray. Start with simple things like asking them for a glass of water, putting your shoes away, bringing your handbag or bible, putting your jacket away, answering the phone and so on. I am sure that we all know that Rome was not built in one day. Our children are different; therefore some need less or more encouraging than others.

Remember to always say “thank you” whenever they do something for you. Whether it was done perfectly or not, the child will be encouraged and will want to do more. They will feel appreciated and loved as well. You will also be teaching them good manners, thus the need to say thank you. To be honest these children will not find it hard to thank God.

I enjoy rewarding my children most of the time as a way of encouraging them. I take them out occasionally to Macdonald’s, shopping for toys, Codonas, order a pizza to eat at home or go out for a movie. I do not do this all the time but I always choose a convenient time to say, ‘thank you, my children and keep up the good work’.

I am not saying everyone should implement all the things I have mentioned in this article but I hope that it will serve as an eye opener to things we can do as parents to encourage our children to help with house chores.
I thank God for the lesson he taught me.
Stay blessed.